Aris Now

Meaningless mind and meaningless scope.

All for a mindless way to cope.

Ending the endless search.

I want out.

 

Advertisements

Meaningless More

I find myself precariously dancing along the edges of crossroads leading to nowhere.

I find myself hearing words that carry no weight from people I’ll soon forget.

I find myself forgiving their insults and lashing out at myself.

I create a dystopian utopia to envelope my heart.

Where there are smiles there are factors at play: efficiency, neccesity, gains, losses and personality profiles to maintain.

It’s not the strangers at play.

It’s the people who “Love” me.

Built in flaw.

Family.

Relive Again

What is there?

To relive again

 

What is there?

To renew once more

 

Is life not more than a petty struggle?

 

Is it not infinitesimally short?

 

What is there

…Worthy…

Of another go

 

Is it not the beauty that we seek?

And altogether ignore

 

It is not the emotions we idolize?

 

Is it not the utter amazement we left behind?

 

It is not the creativity that slowly died?

 

What is there…To relive once more?

 

Can it be…

That we’ve lost ourselves in the whispers of expectation

In the corners of reprimand

And the disapproving glares?

 

Can it be…

That we’ve sought to line our coffers and bankrupted our soul?

 

Can it be…

That there is something worth reliving?

 

What is there?

 

On the Borderline

Do you know what it’s like

To fear your own mind?

To cry 

To be angry 

To be ashamed 

And sorry

All at once?

Do YOU know what it’s like 

To hurt the people you love while you hurt and struggle all day long

Knowing you’re a light switch

One extreme to the next 

Finding peace

In apathy 

Knowing something will trigger you

It’s not a matter of if

Rather when

Do you know?

No, 

Probably not

To Find?

I find
I can’t find
A thing worth finding
A method worth working
The time ticks a rather odd tick 
And
I find
I can’t find
Where the odd tick started
Perhaps there’s no tick
But the tick in my tick? 
Is there a tick or tock I’m not finding? 

One Morning

One morning I woke up and realized I didn’t need you anymore and since you haven’t called me I think the same happened to you long ago. It’s the oddest feeling. I’m not sad or happy or relieved like I thought I would be when I wished to stop needing you.

I no longer have the urge to share my life with you. I don’t need your advice any more and I think I’ve lost the over the top respect I had for you.

One morning like any other morning was how it would eventually be. All it took was patience, distance and time to heal a wound deeply imbeded and snuff out a love so unwanted.

One morning was how it would be…

It’s so amazing the infinite posibilities that come with one morning. This morning or the next. Life seems to go by so slow and yet too fast to truly grasp.

One morning can change everything.